One Roommate to Another: “IT’S OVER!”

How holiday cheer drove these friends to the breaking point.

du Mock | Elise Gruneisen | November 2, 2015

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In an explosive argument witnessed by several neighbors and friends in McGlinn Hall, junior roommates Carrie O’Donnell and Elizabeth Wilkins effectively put an end to their friendship after O’Donnell walked in on Wilkins playing Christmas songs in their room on Sunday, November 1.

“It was crazy,” remarked a next-door neighbor in the dorm, who asked to remain anonymous. “Carrie was screaming and crying. She was furious.”

And rightfully so. According to another source close to the supposedly inseparable roommies, Carrie had been very clear about her beliefs regarding the limits of holiday cheer.

“Carrie has always been adamant about giving Thanksgiving its due after Halloween. Elizabeth knew that. And so for the first two years, Elizabeth was pretty respectful about it: she stuck to listening to holiday music on her headphones, wouldn’t put up Christmas decorations without Carrie’s consent, that kind of thing.”

So, what changed? Word on the street is that Elizabeth’s attempts at appeasement faltered.

“Elizabeth got lazy,” our first source commented. “I heard her humming ‘Frosty the Snowman’ while listening to her headphones, just seconds after Carrie left for class. She bought gingerbread-flavored coffee creamer and told Carrie she thought she’d grabbed the pumpkin spice flavor next to it on the shelf. Elizabeth even came back from fall break this year with Christmas decorations sticking out of her bag.”

Yikes! We’re surprised the façade even lasted this long! But the final straw was when O’Donnell walked in on Wilkins blasting Michael Bublé’s “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” while folding laundry from her Finni-ween costume (sources confirm Elizabeth dressed as a sexy Minion—as if disrespect to Thanksgiving weren’t enough).

Our source continued, “She threw Elizabeth’s stuff out of the room and told her she wasn’t even allowed to sleep in there anymore—that she could ‘find another place to live.’”

Word on the street is that Elizabeth obliged, moving to the room directly below hers and Carrie’s… with Carrie’s freshman-year roommate.

To add insult to injury, “All I Want for Christmas is You” could be heard by passers-by, blasting from the open window of Carrie’s new room and echoing into Elizabeth’s double-turned-single. A tactless attempt at an apology, in our opinion.

Wilkins and O’Donnell could not be reached for further comment.

Disclaimer: The names used in this article do not refer to real people. This piece is satirical in nature and should be read as such.