I’ll be the first to admit that I’m an extremely lazy person. While we’re at it, I’m also a very cheap person. Yes, I do sort everything from lowest to highest price while shopping online, and yes, I do automatically consider anything over $15 “too expensive.” I lead a sad life. Anyways, Halloweekend is rapidly approaching, and some of you may be wondering about outfit ideas that won’t break the bank or require too much effort. Have no fear, your Lazy, Cheap Fairy Godmother (me, if you were wondering) is here.
1. A convict. Do you own a striped shirt? Do you own black pants, shorts, or a skirt? I’ll answer for you: yes (if you don’t, how are you a functioning person?). Now, print out a sign that says something like “Prisoner #103-3120A: South Bend Police Department” and pin it to your shirt. YOU HAVE AN OUTFIT! That was so easy. And free (minus the 2 cent ND printer charge, ugh).
2. Netflix and chill. Do I hate myself for this one? Yes. Regardless, wear a red shirt/pants/skirt/dress, pin a Netflix sign to it, and wear a scarf (get it? chill? HA!). Easy, check. Free, check.
3. Nerd. This one might be a little cliché, but just roll with it. Wear eyeglasses, a button down/blouse, suspenders, plaid or khaki skirt/pants, and kneesocks. Repeat after me: easy and free.
4. Pajama girl/guy. In my opinion, this is the best outfit you could possibly choose. You could literally go out to a bar or party wearing a full Snuggie and fuzzy slippers and stay warm by cocooning yourself in a blanket. Seriously, what more could you want in life?!?! Easy, free, and WARM.
5. Greek god/goddess. Step one: take the sheet off your bed and wrap it around you. Step two: put anything gold on your head/face/neck/arms/legs. Done. Easy, free, and your sheet still makes it feel like you’re still in bed watching Friends.
6. Any animal your heart desires. Want to be a dog? Cat? Mouse? Rabbit? Paint a nose and whiskers on your face and wear brown/white/tan/gray clothes. It’s that easy (and cheap). I’m begging you, though, don’t be a cat—that could be the most overused Halloween costume of all time (I was one during the dark days of high school).
7. Chipotle burrito. Granted, this looks a lot cuter when it’s a tiny baby wrapped in tinfoil, but you could still pull it off . It doesn’t even matter what you wear under the tinfoil (but please wear something in the case of a wardrobe malfunction), as long as you wrap yourself well enough. Make sure you print your order and pin it to the tinfoil (veggie burrito with extra guac, anyone??). Easy, cheap, and makes you crave Chipotle. In my opinion, that’s a win-win situation.
8. Ghost. I’m pretty sure this is the most classic Halloween costume ever. Take a sheet, throw it over yourself, and cut two eyeholes. Or don’t cut eyeholes, that could be kinda fun too. SO easy, SO free.
You’re welcome, witches.